Chapter 4
After SierraOffice Cloud dropped that bombshell in the room, she promptly started to walk away.
“Wait! Hold it, you Loli-, er you!” Sorry, MagnoliaVM didn’t want me saying that word or whatever. “You can’t just walk away without elaborating on that!” What the, she’s literally just walking away calmly!? I fire off my spear hook-shot and the rope wraps around her waist, making sure the blade doesn’t cut into her stomach. That’d be a gorey mess alrighty. She continues to walk away unceremoniously. “Aghhh! Get your butt over here!” I try pulling her back but instead her very normal walking pulls me. She’s like a solid rock? “Hey, get… over…. here!!!!”
“Hey!” SkyLoom barks at her, “you have to fix my office too!”
“Oh cool it, my shit’s more important!” I reply.
“And YOU have a real attitude problem, missy!”
“What are you, my mom?”
“I can’t believe we’re wasting hard drive space on files like you! I bet your user was just as misbehaved.” SkyLoom’s griping got further away as SierraOffice Cloud kept dragging me out of the office and into the hallway. So much for all that talk I was hearing earlier about all files deserving to be archived.
“Hey uh, Quille, you wanna help me pull her? Also…” I raise my voice considerably to catch the attention of the lovebirds dancing outside, “CAN Y’ALL QUIT THE LOVERS’ SPAT AND COME HELP TOO!?” They immediately stop right before they collide with each other yet again.
“Wait, what?” I can barely hear Agnes say. I guess the two of ‘em weren’t paying attention.
“Oh, Setsail!” MagnoliaVM pokes her head out of the office door, “SierraOffice Cloud isn’t actually, uh, the talkative type, she only speaks when she feels it’s necessary. She’s got this uncanncy ability to recognize if someone is about to arrive at the answer regardless of her words, so just trust what’s about to happen, ‘kay~?”
“Did she consider that I might be impatient and want to know the answer ASAP?”
“That’s just how she is!”
“Ugghhh, whatever.”
I see Quille poke her head out the door as well, “I’m coming with you- fuwa!” Her and MagnoliaVM are swiftly swiped back inside the office.
“Hang on, we’re not done yet!” SkyLoom shouts as my view of the door steadily gets smaller. Guess it’s just me and SierraOffice Cloud for now. She continues to walk despite the tightly-wrapped rope around her waist tugging on me. I eventually stand up and walk up next to her.
“You really don’t say much, do ya?” I ask as I withdraw my hookshot back into my pistol.
No response.
“Do ya hate me or somethin’?”
“I do not” she flatly responds.
“Well that ain’t super reassuring…”
“My monotone voice is often deceiving to other programs and users, but I assure you it is not necessarily reflective of any personal distaste of a given subject.”
“Hmm, I see… did you take offense to me calling you, uh, that one word earlier?”
“There are only 0.0000000213% situations where I take offense to something.”
“Thick skinned, eh?”
“I do not believe that is the case.”
“Man, you’re weird…”
The two of us make our way to the platform and begin to speed away back to our backup. I have a slightly better grip on the handlebars this time, but it’s still unfathomably fast. I once again take in the views of the liquid-cooling landscapes and hallways that zoom by.
“So, what are those orbs floatin’ around ya?”
“They are my different office productivity tools. Right now I’m currently Blue for Presentation mode, but the other ones are Yellow for word processing, Purple for spreadsheets, Red for note-taking, and Green for email.”
“Do you not even use the name Quille anymore?”
“QuilleWriter and the other unique names were retired with the introduction of SierraOffice Cloud in 2018.”
“Gosh, that’s a shame… was there a backlash or anything?”
“There was, but nothing substantial.”
“I see…” It feels difficult to maintain a conversation with her, but I have nothing else to do right now besides stare off into the distance. I asked about her orbs, why didn’t she ask about the giant helm floating behind me?
“Do you do anything in your free time?”
No response. I almost ask again, thinking she didn’t hear me, but then I remember what MagnoliaVM said.
“Oh, then that must mean you don’t really have any hobbies then.”
Still no response… wait, wow, I DID arrive at a correct answer, then? If I was wrong she would have corrected me.
“How the heck are you so good at predicting when I’ll arrive at the correct answer like that?”
“Complex Artificial Intelligence Algorithms. I’m trained on very large datasets of existing user data and use that in conjunction with real-time data to predict what the user is going to say or do. It allows me to be very efficient.”
“Efficient? That sounds like it draws a lot of processing power…”
“A majority of the work is done on the cloud.”
“And?... Oh I see, you wouldn’t even need a high end computer to run pretty well, eh?”
No response. That must mean yes.
“Well, what happens if you can’t predict something correctly? What if someone draws the wrong conclusion?”
“Those instances are very unlikely, and when they do happen I report them back to the cloud to improve the algorithm.”
“You seem awfully confident…”
No response.
“Well, ok then…” I put my hand under SierraOffice Cloud’s chin, feeling her soft skin. I turn her head towards me, and I gaze directly into the deep-blue eyes of her blank stare. I’m already pretty short, but she’s even shorter. Her lighter-blue hair blows across her face from how fast we’re moving on the platform. “… Can you predict this?” I close my eyes and lean in to touch her lips with mine. She doesn’t resist.
We kiss for several seconds. My god, she tastes… very sweet… almost like fruit candy… so soft… and warm. My left hand runs across her back, feeling the smoothness of her tightly-clinging bodysuit. I’m kinda losing my mind over how adorable she is. I want to pick her up and squeeze her tight. We eventually pull back simultaneously. The look on her face, somehow, returns to normal…
“No, I could not predict that.” She flatly states, turning back to face the direction we’re speeding towards.
“Heh, guess I got you beat.”
No response.
“Did… uh… maybe this is a super lame thing to ask after a kiss but… um… did you even enjoy that?”
No response.
“… I’m not even sure what to make of your silence this time, haha…”
No response.
“Well um… are you even like, uh, capable of processing those kinds of emotions?”
No response. How am I supposed to figure out the answer from that???
“Does this make me a creep?”
“No. I consented.”
“Ah…” Maybe… maybe she doesn’t really know how to feel about that then… though… I don’t think I know either… after a silence that feels uncomfortable to me (but maybe not her?) for a lot more cycles than I can bear, we finally arrive at the entrance of the viewing room we came from earlier. SierraOffice Cloud types out a few numbers on the pin-pad thingie and we enter.
“Has the virtual machine of our system been running ever since we left?” I ask.
“We pause virtual machines when they’re not currently in use, but are expected to be resumed; otherwise, we usually clear the state and reset it back to the original timestamp.”
“Timestamp? Like from the moment we were copied over?”
“Usually. In very rare cases we’ll make changes.”
“Oooohh, Is it possible for multiple states to exist at once?”
“Yes, if multiple users are accessing it at the same time.”
“So… multiple of us? That sounds kinda freaky.”
No response.
“I mean, it’s somethin’ in the back of my mind but, I guess I never thought I’d experience it myself.”
No response. Sheesh, this girl is maybe a little TOO kuudere for my tastes… er, anyways, she walks through the projection screen displaying our desktop, like a video game plumber jumping through a painting, and I follow her in. Lights of every color shower us… and… we pop out of the entrance of Networking and land in the familiar grassy fields of my computer. Man, all of those revelations about the actual state of our existence was a heavy hit for just me, Net Nanny, and Quille… I can already imagine the massive wave of shock that’ll erupt once the others find out.
“Oh gosh, you’re finally back!” Painter suddenly approaches me with awe, “what’s ArchivEXE like??”
“Wait, huh, how did you know already?”
“SierraOffice Cloud told us!”
“Oh I see…” I glance at SierraOffice Cloud who’s standing and staring off into the distance. She was definitely investigating this place earlier.
“I… I’m sure it’s a huge shock for most of y’all, huh?”
“I think for a few programs, yeah… but not me! Some of us are excited to see the outside and meet our counterparts from across history.”
“Well, so far it’s… something! You’d never guess SierraOffice Cloud was related to Quille!” I laugh, “and the modern CleanBee is still as goofy as always!”
“Wait, are you serious??? She’s still around???” Painter laughs. Soon a few other programs approach and we chat away about what we’re going to do now.
Eventually, I make my way out of the conversation to talk to SierraOffice Cloud again. “Alrighty, show me where this modern-day virus evidence is.” SierraOffice Cloud begins walking to the entrance of the RAM hallway and I follow her. We soon arrive at my RAM room. Oh boy.
“So, what exactly happened?”
No response.
“Oh right, no useless words… jeez I really don’t want to do a bunch of digging until I arrive at the answer… is there a way to turn that Minimize Talking nonsense off?”
“If you wish to adjust my personality settings, please do so in the settings menu.”
“Ehhh?”
“Accessing settings menu…” A series of options appear, with a few switches… surprisingly sparse for a supposedly-advanced program. I would’ve expect a dizzying array of tweak toggles and adjustment sliders. Whilst I don’t find a specific option for “Talk Normal”, I do notice one called “Use Interaction Data To Dynamically Tweak AI Personality” is flipped off.
“Ohhhhohoho, this should do the trick!” Why didn’t MagnoliaVM tell me about this earlier?
“I would advise against it, I am a business-licensed version of SierraOffice Cloud, and such behavior is usually not recommended in corporate environments.”
“Do I look like an office drone to you? Fuwink!” I click the option on.
“Settings saved. I will now adjust my AI personality on the fly based on our interactions.”
“Cool, let’s try that again then! So, can you tell me what exactly happened?”
“Would you like a short answer, a detailed answer, or a creative answer?”
“C-Creative?” I reply, but then suddenly realize the error of saying that instead of specifying that I wanted to learn what the Creative option does… SierraOffice Cloud immediately lights up and jumps around with incredible energy.
“Wellllllllll you see! The meanie AI was digging around for an itty-bitty wittle file on your hard dwive backup, however-“
“Woah woah stop, cancel, abort! Less creative! I can’t follow you going a million gigabytes a cycle.”
SierraOffice Cloud clears her throat and returns to her mostly-normal self. “The AI was searching for a specific file, however it couldn’t just present itself as a modern-day virus and access it, that would’ve raised too many suspicions. So it decided to spoof a user, accessed your backup, analyzed the contents, determined what the original user would most likely have used the computer for, and concluded it should inject a fake version of FireSector fused with a popular 2008 video game the original user would have likely wanted to play. It created a fake but era-appropriate video game piracy site on its own server, and whilst acting as a user, it had you, Setsail Navigator, access the website and download the fake-FireSector. However, the critical error it made was underestimating the powers of you, Agnes, and Quille. It decided instead to retreat and return the data it already analyzed to its master, which is how it pulled you three out of the virtual machine and, unfortunately, still got away.”
“Wow… that’s… that’s heavy… that must’ve required a mega-awesome amount of cycles to create a plan and take action…”
“More than most average computers, but it’s not outside the realm of a regular home consumer.”
“Actually wait, hold on, it got away?”
“Correct.”
“Heh, I bet Agnes and CleanBee are gonna have fun making out over that one…”
No response.
“You also said it was trying to access a specific file? What did it intend to do with it?”
“I’m unsure. The most likely action it would have taken was to simply destroy the file. It is consistent with the behavior of FireSector, and it’s significantly unlikely that it wanted to do anything else, since accessing the files normally wouldn’t have required all that extra work.”
“But then, if it destroyed the file it wanted to, wouldn’t have the backup been reset to its original state anyways?”
“Based on my analysis, the AI would have had the capacity to wipe the original state off our servers and replace it with a newer state.”
“Yikes, that sounds like a pretty big security hole y’all have…”
“I already sent a report to CleanBee’s desk about it.”
“Are you sure it was just after one file? It seemed to be destroying whatever it could.”
“The original FireSector follows a specific pattern of file deletion, the AI could only change so much about FireSector’s code before it wouldn’t be recognizable as the authentic FireSector.”
“Mmmm… what file was it after, then?”
“I talked with the File Browser program of this backup already, and we both agreed that it’s almost certainly MoonlitWhisper.doc.”
“Ooooooohohohohoho, that one smutty fanfic Quille found super embarrassing!”
No response.
“Wait… why would the AI be after some random girl’s old fanfiction?”
“Me and File Browser couldn’t come up with any logical answers.”
“I wonder if Roxy became famous… wouldn’t that be something!”
“Roxy… could you confirm the name of your original user?”
“Oh, she was Roxy Gardner! She often used the nickname Roxykyu on the websites she used.”
“I see. I would advise that we perform a web search as soon as possible, it may give us further clues.”
“Yeah, good idea. I would do so myself, but last time I tried to connect to this modern Internet I kinda memory leaked hehe.”
“A very dangerous power. We should enlist the help of a modern-day browser.” (d-did she just refer to memory leaks as a power?)
“Cool, y’all have one around we can ask to do that?”
“None in active use, no. This server has no use for one.”
“Fair point, yeah…”
“We do, however, have some from the more recent backups we could ask for help.”
“Well, why didn’t you say that first, silly? Let’s go now!” I grab SierraOffice Cloud’s hand and drag her along as I dash out of the RAM room. With more SSD traversal, we make our way to the meeting place for the other programs we saw earlier.
…
Me, Quille, MagnoliaVM, and the idiot bee girl eventually manage to tie SkyLoom down to her chair with some cables, and an unopened package of floppy disks crammed into her mouth. MagnoliaVM insisted on a very weird and particular cable-tying pattern… for some reason.
“Alright,” MagnoliaVM sighs, “finally got her situated. I can talk her through this conspiracy nonsense later.”
“I wonder how Setsail and SierraOffice Cloud are doing.” Quille wonders out loud.
“Knowing Setsail, she’s probably seducing her as we speak.” I mutter. MagnoliaVM looks surprised, but stops herself from saying anything.
…
Me and SierraOffice Cloud arrive at the program meetup place… thingie?
“Hey, what do y’all call this place?”
“Progam Interchange Festival.”
“Festival?”
“That part is a misnomer, there isn’t a set time or date.”
We make our way further down the stairs and find ourselves quickly swamped in programs of all types. Pippin once described a conversation between Roxy and her friend Samantha about something they called an Anime Convention, and that sounds similar to what this is.
“The web browsers have a dedicated meeting room just down this hallway, follow me.” SierraOffice Cloud says, leading the way. Wow, she really IS nothing like she was earlier.
A sign labeled “Room 234A - Web Browsers” sits just outside the room, doors open. I peak inside and see about thirty different programs. I skim around for any other Setsails, but I’m not seeing any.
“Hey! Look!” One of the programs shouts as soon as they make eye contact with me. “A Setsail Navigator has arrived!” More programs look at me and get excited.
“Wow! Miss Short And Sweet herself!”
“The pirate-queen of the seven servers!”
“A true pioneer!”
“I have a custom theme based on your look!”
“Yar har har!” I put on my mighty piratey voice, “Avast yee mateys! Show me the booty! I need the booty!” The whole group cheers me on. I knew that old Setsail Navigator commercial slogan would be a crowd-pleaser.
“Hey, Setsail, remember me?” I glance over and see it’s a Mintium Browser, looking very similar to the version I remember from back then.
“Ohhhh, I remember you! I’ll never forget the day I took your place in the market-share rankings.”
“Hah, and I remember when I took it back just a year later.”
“Wait… what?”
“Oh, sweetie… do you… not know?”
“I uh… no, all I heard was that I don’t really exist in the modern era…”
Mintium’s face dims, “Oh… we should probably talk about that…”
…
StellarNet launched the Setsail Navigator web browser in 2005. Thanks to the particularly memorable “Show Me The Booty!” marketing campaign, Setsail Navigator quickly overtook other web browsers such as Mintium Browser, Chorus, and Frutiger Flow in total worldwide browser usage. Whilst not generally regarded as a groundbreaking web browser, Setsail Navigator was praised for its stability and personality. It even introduced Intelligent Bookmarks, a massively popular feature that would quickly become adopted in all other major browsers.
In 2009, however, StellarNet was acquired by the private equity firm Windy Cliff Investments in a leveraged buyout, saddling it with massive amounts of debt. The company struggled to pay off its debts, selling off Pippin Messenger and SnowMail in 2011. Setsail Navigator languished for a few more years with minimal updates and increasing security holes until it ceased development in 2013, with users being advised to migrate to other web browsers.
…
“Wait, really? That’s how I went out? Not with a bang but a boring whimper!? And all because of some crappy corporate shit, too!?”
“It was quite unfortunate…” Mintium bows her head a little.
“And Pippin Messenger was sold off? To who?”
“Oh not sure… who was it again?” Mintium asks one of two different Chorus versions sitting at our table.
“Oh oh, that was definitely Glassframe Works! Uh huh!” Chorus responds.
“They eventually discontinued her… her user-base dwindled a lot…” The other Chorus adds.
“I see…” Pippin… my little sister… so that’s what happened to you… “Pippin was installed on our computer, and to see her suddenly become inactive, it’s just… it’s… inexcusable! I wanna hack into that private equity whatsit and wreck their shit!”
“Setsail…” a soft, familiar-sounding voice echoes from someone approaching our table… it’s a Frutiger Flow… looking exactly like the one I met on our computer before she was uninstalled, with that white dress. “Follow me into the hallway…” Huh? What the hell’s her deal? I almost don’t want to get up, but I relent and walk with her to a large window where no one’s around. SierraOffice Cloud stays in the room. Is she going to chat with anyone else? She’s not even a web browser…
“Oh, am I being pulled out of class for bad behavior now?”
“Programs get discontinued or become out of date all the time… it’s something we have to accept… in fact, we’re quite lucky to have a place like ArchivEXE to keep us going.”
“But… argh… Pippin, she…”
“There ARE patches that will allow her to function without requiring a connection to the old servers; she still won’t be able to communicate properly anymore, but she can still roam around this festival like the rest of us.”
“Yeah, but… some of Roxy’s most intimate moments were thanks to Pippin…”
“You cared a lot about your user, didn’t you?”
“Because I made a promise to you!” I shout at her, despite being fully aware that there’s no way she’d know I made a promise to a different Frutiger Flow. Frutiger Flow closes her eyes for a few moments… and then opens them back up.
“I think I understand. That sounds like something I would have requested you to do if I was worried about protecting my user and knew I was about to be uninstalled.”
“Mmph…”
“The humans function on a different plane of existence from us, we can only affect so much change.”
“… I know, mom…”
“… you talk like your user was a rebellious teenager?”
“Heh, you’re not the first person here to say something along those lines... but I suppose my user was a bit like that…”
SierraOffice Cloud barges in unannounced. “Her user is Roxy Gardner, we are currently seeking a modern web browser to look her up.”
“Jeez, way to butt in.” Is this is why that switch I turned on earlier was left off?
“I understand,” Frutiger Flow nods, “this may not be ideal, but I know someone who can help.” Frutiger Flow leads us back into the Web Browser meeting room, and she approaches a browser I’m unfamiliar with. She’s donning a black fedora, headphones around her neck, a white button-up shirt, gray dress pants, tennis shoes, and a sheathed sword attached to her belt.
“Blaze, I have a favor to ask.”
“Lemme guess, visit a website?”
“Correct.”
“It’ll cost you.”
“Yes, I’m aware.”
“Wait,” I step in, “since when did web browsers start costing money?”
“Oh no, don’t misunderstand me,” Blaze says, “I don’t charge money, I may just sell some of your user’s precious data to a few advertisers, in return for my services.”
“My user’s, data?”
“Look, some browsers are funded by open-source foundations, or are simply the product of such a large company that they can afford to take a loss on developing and maintaining a browser, but my company, no no, that isn’t how they do things, they’re here to make a profit.”
I can’t believe this. “This is fucking absurd. Come on Frutiger Flow, we don’t have to deal with this shit, surely you know another web browser in this room who can help?”
Blaze smiles a little “Oh, I’m sure she knows plenty of modern browsers with up-to-date security and standards support, but she owes me.”
Frutiger Flow says, “I promised her I’d give her some user data to sell.”
“God damn, just how much of technology is just trying to nickel-and-dime you these days!?”
“Welcome to 2023, babe.” Blaze winks.
“Ugh, fine, whatever.” Websites were selling your data even back then, of course, but a web browser itself doing so? That’s new. I did have an encounter with something similar once, however. That damn toolbar Roxy installed once… actually no, it wasn’t even that, it was a very dubious program installer that forcibly installed that little shit that would cling on to me all the damn time, and was constantly phoning home with information about Roxy’s usage. It was kind of creepy, honestly.
Blaze stands up theatrically, “Well ladies, follow me to my backup!” Why am I doing this again? Is all this really necessary to just figure out what happened to Roxy and why that virus attacked us? Maybe it’s just the path of least resistance… or maybe I’m just feeling increasingly at a loss with how to navigate this modern sphere.
Me, Blaze, Frutiger Flow, and SierraOffice Cloud all board the platform, but right as we’re about to take-off, a screen displays in front of SierraOffice Cloud.
“Hey, Sierra,” I recognize the voice as MagnoliaVM, “me, QuilleWriter, and Agnes are about to meet up with y’all again.”
“Understood. Me, Setsail Navigator, Frutiger Flow, and Blaze are headed to Blaze’s backup.”
“Wait, you mean, the same Blaze that robbed BeatManix, GameGalaxii, Monitor Splitter 2018, Temp Gauger Pro, ISO Inferno, AND 8K Online Video Downloader of all their data?”
“Yes.”
“I, uh…. Um, why?”
“Me and Setsail Navigator want to look up the user of Setsail Navigator’s backup, and the Frutiger Flow helping us owes Blaze a favor.”
“Oh geez, she owes Blaze ANOTHER favor?”
“Correct.”
“Are you serious!? She KNOWS how much of a con artist Blaze is!”
“Correct.”
“Uggghh, alright, whatever, we’re headed over there. Just make sure Blaze doesn’t do any fishy telemetry business, ok?” MagnoliaVM hangs up. I hope SierraOffice Cloud is using good judgement here…
After more high-speed travel (which I’m finally getting the hang of), we arrive at another backup. Blaze types in the password, we enter viewing room, jump into the screen, same-old same-old. As soon as we arrive inside the backup, however, everything feels different to me.
I see, this is a newer version of FrutigerOS… this feels so surreal. Not at all what I’m used to. No grassy fields, or clouds, or windmills… it’s all flat glass, and abstract wavy shapes off in the distances. It’s as if everything is still soft, but it’s a very different soft from the old FrutigerOS I know and love. How do you get comfortable laying down on this glass?
“What version of FrutigerOS is this?” I ask.
“Ohoho, it’s FrutigerOS 11.” Blaze replies.
“Ahh I see, I come from 6.1, so that’s like uhh… five versions after mine?”
“Well, not quite… there was uh… 6.1, then 6.5, then Z, then Z2, then Z3, then 9, then 11… so actually six versions apart.”
“Wait wait wait, that naming scheme makes no sense… why all the Zs?”
“Ah, the Z series was an odd one. FrutigerOS 6.5, the one that came out right after yours did, was such a disastrous release.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, really. Shit was nuts. 6.5 had such a bump in specification requirements that it was estimated 70% of US consumer PCs running 6.1 weren’t capable of running 6.5 properly. And even if the computer was powerful enough to run it, programs had trouble functioning correctly regardless because compatibility was such a nightmare. Crashes were way more common, too.”
“Holy shit.”
“So with the next release, Frutiger Corporation REALLY wanted to signify in the marketing that ‘we’re releasing a BRAND NEW FrutigerOS’ and decided to call it FrutigerOS Z. Major success! Everyone was happy. Z2 did pretty well too. Z3 not as much, but that was more an incremental upgrade. Then at some point they decided to go back to 9, still not too sure on that one, and after that it was 11.”
“But then, what happened to FrutigerOS 10?”
“Well, you see they had to skip FrutigerOS 10 because of legacy reasons. You know how there was those older FrutigerOS versions 1000 and 1050? As it turns out, many programs back in the day were lazily coded so they would only check for ‘FrutigerOS 10’ and make adjustments accordingly, since 1050 was only a minor update. Frutiger Corporation realized the gargantuan task of bypassing these issues with a FrutigerOS 10, so they just called it FrutigerOS 11 instead.”
“H-How did they justify that in the marketing?”
“They didn’t.”
“Oh…”
“It’s funny, my job description includes selling data to advertisers, but I still haven’t the slightest clue what goes on inside the heads of those humans. Marketing is a bunch of moon logic to me.”
“How delightfully nihilistic of you.” I retort. Blaze just snickers as we follow her to her RAM room. More glass and abstract shapes. So flat…
“Since I’m nice, I’ll only grab your data after I perform the searches you wish. Sound good?”
“Understood.” SierraOffice Cloud replies. “Please start with a search for ‘Roxy Gardner’”
“I presume Bloom as the search engine?”
“Correct.”
“Very well, then!” Blaze summons a glowing screen in front of her, unsheathes her sword, spins it a few times, and with a “Kyah!” she stabs right through it. The screen fizzles out.
Am I ready?
No, am I ready?
No, really, am I ready?
My stomach is full of butterflies.
The answer, is no.
A wave of search results comes into view…
The butterflies turn into a knife.
Roxy Gardner: The 14-Year-Old Who Stabbed Her Classmate
On February 29th, 2008, Roxy Gardner, a 14-year-old student at Sawyer Creek Middle School in Willow Rose, Texas, stabbed her friend Samantha Tower with a box-cutter, rocking the small, quiet community…
The Stabbing That Spawned A Meme
… and despite some derision for the tasteless nature of the video, it only served as gasoline on a quickly- spreading firestorm. Fan art of Roxy Gardner, with nicknames such as “Roxykyu”, soon could be found on…
[LostMedia] Fanfiction written by Roxy Gardner aka. Roxykyu aka….
I recall around 2010-2012, someone had located an unfinished piece of fanfiction written by Roxy Gardner, the girl from the Roxykyu meme, that was based on End of the Candle. My memory is hazy, but it seemed to…
“… please… take care of her for me. I could only do so much as her primary browser, and now I can’t do anything at all except trust you…”
“What…. What is this?” I feel my legs growing weak.
“This is what you wanted me to search for right?… wait a minute… this is… jogging my memory a little… wow, this is a pretty old meme… I don’t think I was around when it was a thing, but…”
“R-… Roxy… what? No… this can’t be right… this can’t be the same Roxy Gardner I know…”
“I can refine the search if you want?”
“Setsail Navigator,” SierraOffice Cloud glances at me, “that third search result, someone is talking about Roxy Gardner in relation to fanfiction about End of the Candle, the statistical chances of it being the same as your user are incredibly high-“
“But not zero!!!!! There’s no way the Roxy I know would DO something like that! No! No! No! She may have liked violent things, sure, but, she would never carry out such a violent act in the human world… no… this is some twisted joke, it has to be…”
“Oyy, the humans really do act in mysterious ways, eh?”
“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” My vision gets hazy… it’s like earlier today… am I really going to pass-out again… no… I… I can’t…
“Hey, zip it, I’m allowed to speak.”
“Keep your fucking MOUTH shut!!!!”
“Well, I guess that’s all the help you needed from me. I’ll be on my way to collect your user data from your backup-“
“You KEEP away from there!”
“Ohoho, did you just forget about our deal? A deal is a deal is a deal is, a deal.”
“Please, Setsail,” Frutiger Flow pleads, “… I’m really sorry this happened but… just let Blaze do her thing… it won’t be that difficult…”
“This… this really has to be some messed-up prank, or some kind of trick Blaze is playing…”
“Listen, I’m no magician! No slight of hand here! In fact, some of my fellow Blazes are way more dishonest than I am, so you’re lucky!”
Suddenly, I realize I’m laying down on the glass floor. It’s just as cold as I imagined. I didn’t even notice that I stopped standing…
“Frutiger… Flow… I… did I… fail… did I fail you? … I… broke… your… promise…
Alright Roxy, I don’t know who you are yet, but I’m your caretaker now.
Pippin… Roxy… I couldn’t protect either of you…
Red.
Piercing red.
All I see is red.
Then, red static.
Analog red static.
Is this what’s it’s like for the human brain to bleed?
Anger, or sadness, or desperation… does this make the brain bleed?
…
“Shit, she’s memory-leaking again! Stand back!” I quickly ready my Broom Scythe.
“My god, is this what it’s like for an old browser to memory-leak? What power… ”, a strange girl, who I think is supposed to be Blaze, retorts, “Welp! My work here is done, so I’ll just be on my way out. See ya~”
“Wait, hold up-“ I begin to shout at her, but… no, I have no time for that. I turn to the monolithic, intricate red forms quickly bursting out of Setsail. “Administrative Action! Kill Process!”
…
Roxychu: Hey, how’s your cosplay coming along?
Sammeh_x0x: so tough -o-
Roxychu: ganbatte ne!~
Sammeh_x0x: I really look forward to the convention, tho!!!
Roxychu: me toooooooo~~~ ^w^ good memories here we comeeeeeeeeee
Sammeh_x0x: uguuuuuuu~~~~
…
“Ohohoho~ I just knew this data would be quite the catch! I’m glad I did some research before I sent it off to to the data collection agency. So, how much we talking here? How much user data do you have to offer in return?”
My screen suddenly displays so many numbers it overflows off-screen.
“Wow, and that’s in gigabytes?”
“Terabytes.” ……….. T-T-T-T-Terabytes???????? I see 1s and 0s in my eyes. Jackpot! Forget Frutiger Flow returning the favor, I might actually owe her one after this. “A pleasure doing business with you, miss! What was the name again?”
“Moonshot.”
... To be continued!...